I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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