drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
