I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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