I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
