dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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