Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't deserve a penis
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
