Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
