She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
