He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
