dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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