I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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