i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
