There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
