I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
