I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
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