The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can tuck mytits in my pants
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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