I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
