I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Help. Why am I so naked?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
