ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
