I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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