Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
