you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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