Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
