Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
