I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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