I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
