Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
