No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
