porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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