Can Purell be used as lube?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize