In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
