Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
