peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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