Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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