just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Welp...herpes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize