now i know why i became what i already was.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
