No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
