he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize