she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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