If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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