you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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