I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
