Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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