I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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