You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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