Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Randomize
