Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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