You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
