Do vagina's smell?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
