Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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