How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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