today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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