Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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