Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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