The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
