we're blogging at a bar
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
