Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
