Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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