Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
