a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
