I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize