I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
