What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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