Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
