I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
