What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
