There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
