Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
