Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Are my feet made of real feet?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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