It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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