I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
