She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
