How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
