I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she peed on how many people?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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