This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
