ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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