Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
